Something I have been struggling with the past few weeks is something a lot people struggle with as well: body image.
I am 20 years old now, and my metabolism has definitely slowed down. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life, and it’s been a hard process for me to go through.
I am active, and I eat an average diet. I’m out and about all day with children; hiking, swimming, running, all the crazy things kids do, but I still didn’t understand why I was gaining weight. And it was really hard for me.
My breasts went up a cup size, my used-to-have-no-butt butt has became an actual thing now, and I had to buy a size up in my pants.
However, my fiancee still loves me the same as he did when I was 15 pounds lighter, which was very strange for me.
I am not fat, obese, or anything like that, by any means, I think I am pretty average. But then again, whose to say what is normal? Media? Why did I even care in the first place that my bottom was getting more round and that I couldn’t fit into my size small shorts? Oh yeah, because media has brainwashed me since I was a little girl that I was supposed to be stick thin and have no curves like my Barbie doll did. But I’m not blaming media, it was in my head and my heart that I had to look a certain way or I would not be lovable. That was me. And I was the only one who could make my heart change.
I’ve realized some things the past few weeks:
My body is not the same as when I was 16 or 18, and that’s okay. I’m becoming a woman, and growing up, inside and out.
I’m still healthy. My weight is healthy for my height, and I am still quite active. I eat fruits and vegetables every day, and drink enough water. It’s okay.
My body is bigger than my fiancee’s, and that’s okay too. My body was made to have babies someday, and being skinny as a stick would make that process much harder. My fiancee, does not have to deal with that, and he’s okay just how he is too.
I know this post is very random, and not very well formatted. But it was just something on my heart, that I wanted to share. I know how hard it can be to look at another person and wish you look like them, or to look in the mirror and begin to cry because you don’t like what you see. I’ve been there. But, because of the grace of God and the love from my fiancee, I can finally say that I am okay with what I look like.
The scale does not define who I am. As long as I am healthy & happy (mind, body, & soul), I am okay. And you are/will be too.
Happy Saturday ❤